Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
