Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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