What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
