It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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