Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
where does the pee come out of this thing
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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