If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.