Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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