Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I licked your asshole in confidence.