Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.