is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do