but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa