You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
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Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos