Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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