mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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