So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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