I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
