so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
