Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize