So drunk its hurt
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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