This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize