Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
