I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize