I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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