Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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