Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
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First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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