For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
