i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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