You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
bring money and cleavage
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
