Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
