i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
