Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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