I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
