Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
