You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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