I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
