i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
