also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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