Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
