I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
