remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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