none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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