Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
