Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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