She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think my moral compass just broke
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
