I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
