look no pants
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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