shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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