Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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