Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
