Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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