we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
