No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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