He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
