You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Of course I have a pirate flag
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
