cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
