I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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