i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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