You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
