So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
