Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can I color on your dick again?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
