So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
