can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
