and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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