the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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