i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
