chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
