my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
