I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
