We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
