I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
