im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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