Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
