So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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