I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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