for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
